TTC baby 1 @41

March 1, 2020 at 10:30 pmHello! I'm also new to the forum (this is my first post!).  We are finally "officially" TTC our first... I am a few months past 40 now though, so I am quite weary - and a little scared. I'm already second-guessing myself and whether this is a good idea or not..>! Giving up our "freedom" at this stage is a little daunting.

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March 2, 2020 at 1:24 pmHi @cocoasm and @latetotheshow.  Welcome!

I am 41 and 1/2.  We really started TTC our 1st in Nov or Oct.  I had been charting since April after reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility and It Starts With The Egg. I surprisngly found out I was pregnant in early January after what felt like a wonky cycle.  Really though the cycle was wonky because I bought a new themometer that varied and the temps were low and it was the holidays so I had more variability in sleep & holiday fun. 

Anyways, here I am 10 weeks and 4 days today and all is well.  I literally just came back from my doctor's appointment where I heard the heartbeat for the 1st time!! Previously I had an ultrasound and all was well on that.  

It is normal to feel scared and overwhelmed.  Stereotypes aren't nice to 40+ year olds in the discussions of being able to become pregnant, have a healthy pregnancy and keep up with a little one.  I just had this discussion with my doctor today after a nurse told me many 40 year olds she sees who are pregnant are actually more aware of their bodies and healthier than many 20 year olds they see.  My doctor agreed and she said she see's us 40+ year old TTC ladies and pregnant mommas everyday.  

Just want to send a little positivity your way! I'm happy to be a support in any way I can.  <3

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March 3, 2020 at 9:23 pm@lillyburn: Thank you SO much! Your story gives us all hope, and it is so good to hear that we are not the ONLY ones just starting now. My mom always told me to enjoy my youth and that "time flies" but it wasn't until I blinked and missed my 30's that I believed her..!It can feel pretty hopeless and disheartening though, when suddenly at medical appointments instead of feeling like a "young" person, professionals start talking to you about "when you hit menopause"... as if I am already beyond hope. This happened today. I don't think I LOOK that old for my age (thankfully I have never smoked, and never been too heavy of a drinker), but I guess this particular person was just looking at the "40" on their sheet.

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March 6, 2020 at 6:02 am@late to the show  I am so sorry you experienced this. I am learning there are so many stereotypes out there not rooted in science or the realities of many 40 year olds.  As I started this journey I found it really hard to find online communities with women my age TTC or charting.  So I overanalyzed ever temp or signal as perimenopause.  I spent an entire afternoon in December creating a spreadsheet and pulling from my period apps all the cycles I had documented and the length. I was trying to convince myself or find evidence that my cycle had drastically shortened and menopause was around the corner.  Turns out it has shortened slightly but apparently I never cared years back to know if I had a 25 or 30 day cycle.  Point is not having women around me in their 40's TTC left me feeling lost and convinced I had a limited chance.

I did find an OBGYN team and hospital that is affiliated that don't look at my age in a way that frightens me. They are ready with info based in research to support me at 41 years (42 at expected due date) but they are not assuming or fear inducing.  Having this team has been so helpful because outside of those walls it's tons of 20 and 30 year old women and very few of us 40 year olds.

 

What I can tell you is my doctor and nurses have reminded me of a few things. Many 40 years are healthier than some of the 20 year olds they see because we have had time to realize how time flies and know our bodies better, therefore making better choices.  Also, there are less woman with positive stories posting and talking in public about things than there are those who have had negative experiences.  

 

I know this is a long winded post, but I just want to support us women in our 40's.  Oh I also recently joined a group on Facebook (I really only use it for private groups) and it's for women TTC or first time moms over 40. It has been great!

- I hope sharing this is not a violation of the board, if I can delete this link.

Keep believing in your and the amazing things your body can do!

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March 8, 2020 at 11:11 pmThanks Lillyburn. Yes, you are right - it does seem to be a very "elite" group... I hope that is not a bad thing!

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April 1, 2020 at 8:47 pmHow are you doing now Lillyburn? I hope everything is going as well as it can, given the strange days these are!Sadly your link is gone. I was hoping this site would have had a bit more activity just to keep things ticking over, but I'm going to have a scout around for somewhere with a bit more chatter.

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April 2, 2020 at 6:23 amHi Late to the Show,

 

I am doing well.  I am 15 weeks today and feeling okay overall.  Fortunately I had most of my more major appointments before we started staying at home. So that has been good.

 

Unfortunately, they removed my link.  I do understand and had wondered whether it was allowed.  I do wish they allowed for direct messaging or a way for us to connect further as I'd love to provide more resources to you during these times when we are particularly isolated. Maybe OvaGraph admins can think of a way we can all better connect? 

How are you feeling and doing? I think of my OvaGraph ladies often! 

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April 2, 2020 at 8:41 pmLillyburn: That is great to hear! It can't be an easy time to be pregnant for some people. I saw that one lady on the forum had her 6-week scan pushed to a 7-week (& was worried they were going to skip it altogether and go straight to an 8-week). Hopefully she is ok too. The extra stress of all of this can't help - so I hope you are meditating (or whatever your preferred method of relaxing is) and not letting the outside world get to you too much. <3

Yes, the link was there at first but silly me, I didn't check it or bookmark before it was removed. Honestly I am not sure I want to start linking my FB to it anyway. I will get hearbroken if FB starts ad-targeting me and I keep seeing baby ads for the next 5 years! I may just scout around at some of the online forums, which allows me to keep it a little separate.

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April 8, 2020 at 8:40 pmHow is everyone doing? I am currently at the end of my TWW and really trying to remain positive and calm... had the first truly painful bout of ovulation pain this cycle, so I *think* that is a good thing?? This will be my second month charting and if nothing else it has helped to put my mind at ease that from the charting side of things my body still seems to be functioning as “normally” as I could hope for. I am still hoping we have just never gotten our timing right, and that maybe it has taken the best part of a year for regular ovulation to start, after being on the Pill for sooooo long.

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April 17, 2020 at 11:12 pmWell I probably shouldn't have said anything.  I made it to 18 dpo with higher temps staying over my coverline, but took a HPT that morning and got a negative result. It is very unusual for my cycles to last more than 30 days... but AF turned up late that afternoon. I was a little more upset about that than I would like to admit.

How is everyone else doing?

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April 19, 2020 at 6:27 am@late to the show  - Sending you hugs. It is absolutely okay for you to be upset, I would be too.  That wait time is filled with so many raw emotions. What did you chart look like? Thinking of you! 

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April 19, 2020 at 2:59 pmHi, sorry to hear that LatetoShow. Hang in there. I know it can be an emotional rollercoaster. The good news is that you are still ovulating since you got AF.

Praying  for you and lillyburn. 

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April 20, 2020 at 1:30 pmThanks ladies!

Lillyburn: Nothing too remarkable about last month's, other than the 17 (18) days over the coverline (which continued a couple of days into the next cycle), plus a very faint "spotting" (pale pink) at what could have been an implantation date, which I first assumed was AF getting ready to start. I am wondering if perhaps it was a functional cyst. But after looking into it it's very hard to diagnose those, and good luck right now getting in to see a Dr for "non-essential" visits. At this point, I am really just going to have to leave it all to fate!

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October 9, 2020 at 11:26 amJust an update - in early August I got my BFP! 12 weeks, 5 days today and baby is doing well so far. <3

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October 9, 2020 at 9:23 pmHey Latetoshow, that's so exciting!! Congratulations! Hope you have an easy time going forward. Happy to hear your great news!!

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