TTC over 40

August 26, 2019 at 5:20 amI turned 40 in December had a miscarriage in the end of Jan and have been TTC since. Prior to that it rook me 2 years. I also never had a problem becoming pregnant in the past however now I feel it is so challenging. I am trying to find natural supplements to help. Maybe we can both find a TTC community for 40+ that is supportive.

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September 20, 2019 at 7:15 pmI am 44 years and trying to conceive as well. I don’t know where to start from. I wish God bless me with twins

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December 2, 2019 at 8:13 pmI'm a bit late to this thread, but thought I'd chime in. I'm 42 and actively trying to conceive purposefully for the first time. (I accidentally became pregnant at 18, terminated that pregnancy, and spent most of the rest of my years in between using withdrawl and later in combination with FAM pregnancy avoidance methods.) My partner and I have tried natural conception (still using FAM, with rules for achievement obviously) for 11 cycles with no luck. Last cycle had my FSH, AMH, and antral follicle count (AFC) done. FSH and AFC pretty darn good for 42; AMH disappointing. Also had an HSG done with good results for uterus and tubal patency. Partner had a motility issue caused by an undetermined infection - 2 weeks of antibiotics apparently cleared that up and second sperm analysis was good. On day 1 of a new cycle today; will start letrozole for superovulation in 2 days. (Have been ovulating regularly still.) 

Just thought I'd write to connect. I was part of the TCOYF community about 10 years ago when I first read Weshchler's book - learning all I did then and charting changed my life. Apparently though I didn't read carefully enough then the parts about fertility in later years - guess I didn't really want to know or just felt it didn't apply to me. In many ways I wish I hadn't waited so long to try to start my family, but on the other hand life was full of other impediments when I would have had better eggs. In any case, we shall see, we shall see. Fingers crossed for myself and all the other ladies trying to conceive after 40!

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December 21, 2019 at 11:36 pmHello lioness9,

I hope you are having good luck with the letrozole. 

I started trying when I was 41. Met my hubby late. I am 45 now and I wish we had gone to IUI right away. We didn't because I had a hard time with the facts of my age. 

At the time I still had a few eggs then... But who knows, maybe it still wouldn't have worked. After a lot of emotional steps I agreed to get a donor. Thank God for her.

Now we're using donor eggs. Just did ivf with one and found out a few weeks ago that first attempt didn't work. 

We are optimistic still and trying again in March. Would be sooner, but flying out of country for cheaper treatment. So we have to plan a bit. I'm still hoping to be a mom.

I hope for the best for you too in your journey. Baby dust to you.

 

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December 23, 2019 at 10:02 amHi MommaIhope,

Thanks for sharing - it is definitely helpful to have some emotional support in the form of communing with other TTC women. I'm sorry to hear the first IVF attempt with the donor egg didn't work out. I wish you the best for your next out-of-country attempt and have my fingers crossed for you!

I was also 41 when we started trying. Just prior I was prompted to face some facts about declining fertility after a conversation with my older sister who gave it a good darn try between 42-45 both naturally and with some eggs she froze at 42. My partner and I came together when I was 36, but I wasn't ready then nor prior to then with my ex-husband. At times I feel serious regret that I didn't try sooner, but I am somewhat soothed by the idea that everything happens for a reason. I feel very lucky that I am still ovulating regularly and my FSH and AFC are kind of impressive for my age, but of course a significant percentage of 42-year-old eggs are bound to be abnormal. The plan with my OBGYN right now is to try letrozole for 4 cycles, and if no luck then maybe IUI and definitely a referral to a fertility specialist. In all likelihood, as much as I want to conceive, I don't think I'll going the IVF route if we don't succeed with the above - seems like it would be way too stressful and too much of an emotional rollercoaster for me.

In the 2 week wait now (8 dpo) with the first letrozole cycle. Did a draw for progesterone yesterday - was a bit disappointed as it seems maybe on the low side (10.4) for a medicated cycle - but trying not to read much into that knowing that progesterone levels can fluctuate 8-fold in 90 mins. My chart is interesting - higher luteal phase temps than I've seen in 14 previous charted cycles and generally on a rising trend. Since I'm using letrozole for superovulation, I theorized that if the result was popping out two eggs instead of one, my luteal temps might be higher due to extra progesterone from two corpus luteums. So doing my best not to read into the higher temps too much either. 

Hoping for the best for us both!

 

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December 23, 2019 at 8:37 pmHi Lioness9, 

Agreed! It so nice to connect with other women going through this. I'm so happy for you that you are working with OB. That's great that they're tracking your progesterone and also great that you have a plan for trying.  Praying for you for this 2week wait!! 

I realized today that we actually didn't start trying until I was 43. Actually Dec. exactly 2 years ago. You you are in good shape with the good numbers and trying with help from meds at 42! (I know I still had good eggs then...) I'm the oldest of 3 sisters and so I didn't have that perspective. It helps that you have a sister who went through it. My two are supportive but they both have a bunch of kids. It's great since I can be an auntie but it's harder to share the struggle. 

Yes, ivf is not for everyone. I have had a lot of changes in what I'm willing to do as time goes by. I had perimenopause that quickly went to menopause last year... Luckily I was already working with fertility clinic so they gave me hope. The things they can do now are really amazing!

What I appreciated about our first fertility specialist was the ultrasound and being able to see the ovaries. It gave me a good understanding of what was really going on in there. I think that helped me move through some of the acceptance to get to place where I was ready for IVF. (And one doc told me donor egg when I was 42 and I wasn't ready to hear it then.) 

The emotions of ivf actually for me weren't as hard as when we first started with all this. But each time it's not easy to wait. That two week wait... Looking back I needed to go through the less intrusive stuff for my own acceptance, but I do have similar thoughts about regret. But I remember that I was doing the best I could at the time and I definitely didn't want to have babies with those other people - or by myself.. . So here we are.

Sometimes I get down on myself about why we didn't

start with fertility clinic sooner. (But I know why though because I wasn't emotionally ready. Moving through the denial for me was really important and a tough process. But it is that, a process... Everyone in their own way.)  I also believe that things happen for a reason... We shall see.

We're probably going back in March to try again. It seems so far away but I'm trying to get over that. We have to plan it around my vacation days. Keeping the faith!

Best of luck to you and hoping for a happy, healthy baby for us both. Baby dust your way!! 

 

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December 29, 2019 at 7:19 pmHi MommaIHope,

Sorry for the slow response.

Ha, well, the progesterone draw was kind of a fluke - the OB's office wanted to "confirm" ovulation with a blood test when I had my LH surge, but that didn't happen because my LH surge and ovulation happened over a weekend and there was no way practical way to send an order ahead of time to one place (a lab) on Sat or another (the emergency room) on Sun. So I suggested a progesterone draw 7 dpo since we could actually plan that even though it was going to be a weekend again. Made more sense anyway as I could have had an LH surge without actually ovulating (not that I wasn't already). My OB's office apparently doesn't prescribe these meds much - I'm discovering that in several ways this plan wasn't terribly well thought out and sometimes I have questions they can't answer, but nothing I can't work with. I'm originally from NY and Philly, but now I live in a pretty remote part of southwest Colorado, so not a whole lot of options here. Fortunately I love my OB even if not the office so much. Kind of a bummer that I had to drive an hour and a half away and back just for a blood draw on a Sunday, but ce la vie. I wouldn't trade living here for anything. Meanwhile I am now a day late for my period and still testing negative - either I am actually pregnant or the letrozole lengthened my LP - only time will tell I guess and I am now just nervously twiddling my thumbs! (I am tentatively looking at an implantation dip on 9 and 10 dpo, but trying to not read too much into my chart.) Ugh, the two week wait - going through it over and over and over is really hard, as I'm sure you're well familar with. As much as I try to keep an even keel, it seems impossible to not swing between hope and disappointment again and again.

I had a nice heart to heart with my older sister over Thanksgiving about all this. It was nice to hear her say that she looks forward to the possibility of being an auntie. I feel a tremendous amount of gratitude to her for waking me and thanked her for that a while back, but she had already given up by the time she woke me up so I'm trying to be very sensitive in how I talk about this with her and not re-trigger her feelings of disappointment - easier said than done I think given that I can't do anything about being younger. 

I'm glad to hear you are also taking things in stride and recognize the process you needed to go through for acceptance of your situation. It sounds very emotionally healthy to me, and certainly going through any of this in an emotionally unbalanced way would only make it more difficult. I can't imagine it was easy to go through perimenopause quickly. I already feel like I'm "sprinting" in a way just having become the teeniest tiniest bit perimenopausal. As for my past, regardless of who I was with I had a number of other health problems, both mental and physical, that could have made things untenable and made me feel not ready. So it was what it was then, it is what it is now, and that's all I can do since I can't change the past.

March does seem a long ways away, but it will probably come faster than you expect.  I think you're courageous for continuing on your IVF journey and I am rooting for you!!!

 

Best wishes,

L

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December 30, 2019 at 9:11 pmMommaIhope2be—I wish you luck in your IVF cycle. I think the waiting is the most stressful part of TTC. I’m glad you’ve reached a place and ability to pursue the family building method available to you. Lioness9–I hope you get good news. If not, learned lessons for next cycle.

I turned 40 this year, and my husband and I tried for eight years previously to have a baby. I have a congenital heart condition that was worsening, so we decided to stop trying. I had a new heart valve this past October, and my husband surprised me with the suggestion that we try again. I had reached a place of acceptance and even gratefulness at not having a child, but my biggest regret was not making him a father. I have a Mirena IUD, so would have to go get it removed before we start, and I told him we have to discuss with my Cardiologist at our next appointment in April. So, I’m waiting to TTC until then, which is hard, because if given the green light, we have no time to lose.

The worst part is it is natural or bust. The last time I was trying and saw an RE after my 2nd miscarriage, he wouldn’t agree to try any meds unless I got written release from my cardiologist . At that time, my Cardiologist was basically saying that they’d help me manage my health if I became pregnant, but they weren’t willing to sign off on measures to help me get and stay pregnant.

I have hypothyroidism, which I know can contribute to miscarriages and infertility. I am on meds, but based on research, it seems like that doesn’t always resolve the problem. So, I plan to use the next 4 months to lose more weight and focus on a thyroid friendly diet to help maximize my ability to sustain a pregnancy.

The good news is my husband apparently has super sperm, so we shouldn’t have to worry on issues from his end.

Lioness9/MommaIhope2be, and others—are there any particular natural supplements you have tried or recommend? are you or do you plan to follow a specific diet to help maximize your fertility?

For me it means more seafood, seaweed snacks, brazil nuts and less cruciferous veg. At least most of the foods good for thyroid are ones I like.

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December 31, 2019 at 5:10 amAh, I just wrote a long post to you both but website didn't save!

Hello to you both and thank you very much for the replies.

Will reply soon... So nice to hear from you both. 

 

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December 31, 2019 at 12:34 pmMommaIHope - bummer about the lost post! Look forward to your next reply.

Lissabee -

Thanks for chiming in. It is definitely nice to commune with others here. Congrats on the new heart valve! I hope it keeps you healthy and glad to know it makes it possible for you to TTC. Is it possible your cardiologist might be okay with fertility treatment with the new valve, or does that not change anything? I certainly have used that phrase, "no time to loose," more times than I can count, and I hate the feeling of urgency that comes with all this at this age. Keep in your mind the positive elements of being 40 (instead of older) - my understanding is that just a couple years can make a big difference in egg quality after 37 or so. How are your cycles with the hypothyroidism? If you chart it might tell you a lot about how well those meds are working.

Oh goodness, I have a list of supplements I've been taking that is a mile long - it makes me feel like a crazy person. I haven't made much adjustment to my diet - we eat pretty darn healthy, wide variety, lots of veges, almost all organic, and a portion of it food we ourselves produce (including our eggs, pork, and veges). We do eat some junk food but don't worry ourselves about it too much since it's limited and otherwise we eat well and are active. I have eliminated or largely avoid some things during luteal phase- mainly certain herbs that can cause uterine contractions. Some supplements I take for other purposes and have for a while - magnesium, vitamin C, melatonin, and lemon balm for sleep (I have chronic insomnia), ashwaganda and holy basil for anxiety, zinc for immunity, prenatal (for the obvious reason of course), calcium, etc. I have been taking vitex for a while, and I do find it helpful in regulating my cycle a bit - mainly it seems to have lengthened my LP from 11/12 days to 12/13 days and maybe improved my temps a bit in the luteal phase. I usually take a break from it for about 5 days in the beginning of my cycle. This past cycle (the first letrozole cycle) I skipped it for the first half of my cycle - I wasn't sure if it would interfere with the letrozole or not and couldn't find good information about it. B6 can also be used to lengthen LP but there is already quite a lot in my prenatal. OB wants me to eliminate ashwaganda and vitex if I become pregnant since they both toy with hormones. A while back (and some more recently) I also added some amino acids (L-arginine, L-cysteine, L-carnitine), fish/flax oil, vitamin E, grapeseed extract, CoQ10, maca, certain mushroom powders, etc for egg/fertility health and antioxidant effects. I am also on a baby aspirin regimen recommended by my OB because I had a deep vein thrombosis in my arm when I was 27 (and even without the DVT, there is some idea that baby aspirin can increase blood flow in the pelvic region so potentially helpful for implantation). I am negative for clotting disorders but had the perfect storm of events that caused it- birth control + smoking + immobilizing illness + some physical trauma. Nonetheless this occurrence puts me forever at risk of having a DVT again, so if I succeed in conceiving I will be taking Lovenox to reduce the risks. (Thanksfully I quit smoking about 10 years ago but am still working on kicking my nicotine addiction- getting close with weaning now.) 6 years ago I shattered my hip and wrist and had to be on Lovenox then as well with a very traumatic surgical repair, 3 months of no weight bearing, and 5 more months of intense rehabilitation. (VERY grateful for the medical care I received then - another time and place and I would have never walked again and quite possilby have died.) And while I'm taking about meds, I'll mention too that if I succeed I will also be getting Rhogam shots, since it was discovered when I terminated a pregnancy at 18 that I am Rh-; my partner is Rh+ so little chance that a fetus would also be Rh-. 

 Unfortunately, I did get my period today, so no dice this cycle. Apparently the letrozole increased the length of my LP from 13 to 15 days. It did seem to cause my luteal phase temps to be increased, and man do I have bad cramps today and generally feel unwell - I suppose it's the big drop in progesterone screwing with me. Feeling pretty bummed today - it's pretty hard to be disappointed again and again, as I'm sure you're both well familiar with. But all I can do is to keep moving forward and try again. I start letrozole again in two days. My partner struggles with empathy (working on it) and sometimes doesn't understand why I can get so down about this - on some level I get this (but not entirely), given that he's not a woman with a limited timeline and maybe not the same biological imperative. On the flip side I think it is easier for him to keep thinking positive - e.g., today he said, "we'll get it done, I promise" - so I benefit from that, even if such statements are not promises that can be made.

Fx for us all. Both of you ladies are in inspiration, so thank you for that. Keep in touch.

 

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December 31, 2019 at 1:07 pmMommaIHope2Be-Sorry to hear about your post getting canceled. You have me paranoid, so now I’m copying my post before I hit send. Thanks for the welcome.

Lioness9- That is a long list of vitamins/supplements, indeed. I had a blog back in the day about my infertility. I may need to read it again to see how I did with Vitex. It feels pointless to track my cycle right now, because I still have my Mirena in. Just trying to focus on additional weight loss and healthy diet for when I transition off of IUD. I’ve been thinking of getting the fertility blends through FairHaven, specifically OvaBoost and the Myo-inositol, partly because I don’t want to mess with trial and error of supplements like I did before.

So, in addition to all of the waiting that comes with TTC, I am waiting to start. I’m trying to figure out if I want the Ovacue or Ovusense—both have really great reviews, but one seems to have better prediction rates and I really like the idea of being able to have temps taken every 5 minutes so it can truly tell my basal body temp (Ovusense). But I like thay Ovacue tests other fertility signs, like CF and saliva ferning.
There’s still time to read reviews, etc.

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December 31, 2019 at 1:58 pmLioness9-I also need to ask my Cardiologist whether there are any forms of RE interventions she would approve. This is a different cardiologist, but I suspect the answer would be similar, but maybe more compassionate.

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January 1, 2020 at 1:20 pmHoping4Baby-thanks for starting this thread. I think at our age, seeing a specialist is a must. I may not get to see one unless my cardiologist gives the ok. I’m not sure how antidepressants affect reproductive cycles. I was on an antipsychotic that artificially increased my prolactin, which caused me to be anovulatory.

I hope with you and DH on opposite shifts you can find time to BD while you’re getting EWCM. I think either Ovacue or Ovusense monitors are both excellent. They work in different ways. I’m still researching, but l leaning towards the Ovusense. I like how it tracks core body temp and is not affected by when you temp, how often you move, etc. it’s had two clinical studies, and I mean to read them.

I’m just a little concerned about possible user error with the Ovacue. as I said, still in research stage.

I’m thinking of doing Fertil-aid, Ovaboost and Myo-inositol combo once I get my IUD removed, to help get my cycles back on track. I fully expect my first cycle or four to be irregular while my body figures or how to menstruate again. I have virtually no bleeding on Mirena, so I don’t know how long that would take.

Wishing you and all here a baby-dusted New Years

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January 2, 2020 at 5:28 amHi ladies, 

So I have not been back on here for awhile but have received all notifications of this thread. I am now 41, I have successfully became pregnant in October with twins. I have lost one but the other is still growing praise God. I had been using Pregnitude and then I used preseed along with it. I pray all you ladies are able to conceive as well and I wish you the best of luck. It has been a long journey as I posted before 2 years to conceive and then a miscarriage in then of Jan last year. I kept trying and then in October I finally conceived again. I didnt want to give up and I don't think anyone should until they absolutely can no longer become pregnant or they feel in their heart they want to stop trying. It is hard each month to get a BFN but you never know what God has in store. I am thankful God has given me one last baby.

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January 2, 2020 at 7:14 amAdudek--Congratulations on the pregnancy. I'm so happy one twin is still going strong, and I hope and pray you have a safe, healthy pregnancy and delivery. Thanks so much for coming back to update us. Baby dust!

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January 2, 2020 at 9:25 amWelcome back Adudek and Hoping4baby! Glad you joined the party - I'm excited that we have some activity on this thread.

Adudek - sorry about the lost twin but congratulations! Wishing you a healthy, vibrant pregnancy. 

Hoping4baby - wishing you and all of us baby dust! My cycles have also gotten a wee bit shorter (while still producing plenty of EWCM) - in my case I chalk it up to very early perimenopause, as this is often the first thing that happens. I weaned off Zoloft 4 or 5 years ago after having been on it for about a decade - I didn't notice that it changed my cycle but I also wasn't charting during that time (and didn't start charting again until late fall of 2018) so wasn't exactly paying attention. I'm sure it depends on which med it is too. Ovucue, ovusense, or similar device might be a good idea with an irregular sleep cycle. I considered it myself as I have chronic insomnia, which these days wakes me up at wierd hours in the wee morning; however, I discovered that for some reason, it no longer seems to matter what time I take my temp. It used to matter when I was charting in my early thirties, but now as long as I take my temp at whatever weird wee hour I wake up and don't wait to temp until after my more restless morning sleep, it doesn't seem to affect my chart.

Lissabee - when I asked if you chart I forgot about your IUD. I hope for your cycle to quickly become regular after removal! I also considered some of the Fairhaven fertilty supplements, then realized I already had and was taking a lot of what was in them. It would probably be far more conconvenient to just take a Fairhaven supplement.

I start a new round of letrozole today. While probably not necessary, I plan to try adding guafenesin this cycle for more/better EWCM. I recently read about women using menstrual cups post BDing to keep sperm near the cervix - I might try that too. Might as well pull out all the stops I guess. The failure to conceive last cycle really hit me hard this time around so the struggle to mediate my emotions continues.

Fx for us all,

L

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January 2, 2020 at 1:15 pmHello Adukek, I'm sorry to hear about the loss but also very happy to hear that you are pregnant and hoping for the best for you and the baby on the way. 

I've tried to post 7 or 9 times... Going to post in chunks and see if that works 

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January 2, 2020 at 1:16 pm Lioness9 andLissabee79, 

Thank you again for sharing your stories and thank you for the well-wishes. ok... Long post:

Hello Hoping4babyL9,

Thank you for starting the thread. I appreciate the support very much. Your question about the fertility... I understand about the difficulty with temps and sleep schedule. It's hard to know what's going on without knowing if your  temps have a V or W cycle shape. High temps in LF indicate progesterone and length of LF is important for successful implantation. Fertility specialist helped us to know if I had any good eggs. But even that is a bit of guess work. So far, IVF was our best attempt versus IUI. I wish I did ivf sooner. With IUI, the meds: yuck - I had so many side effects. We didn't do ivf until I was 44. I was surprised how fast perimenopause came on. The cycle changes for me started around 41. Longer cycles then I  skipped some cycles into my 42 bday. 

I used ovacue and ovusense. They were never in sync. Gave me good info but it was useless because my eggs weren't good. I found that Clearblue Advanced worked well (and easier to use). I used Clearblue Adv 2 at a time though because sometimes they weren't accurate. More expensive but peace of mind.

Ovusense is ok but putting it in every night seemed like a lot. It was pretty accurate. But neither lined up with otc ovulation tracker. Was maddening but all together  helped us time intercourse a lot. 

 

 

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January 2, 2020 at 1:17 pmLioness9, that's great that you like your ob and I can relate to all the back and forth of testing. It's amazing to me what I am willing to do for this future baby! And yes! The two week wait is torture! I try to keep a sense of humor about it on my good days but omg. I'm sorry you don't have positive test this time, but getting the period means you're ovulating. :-) For me, I've had hardly any cycles this year, if the period comes without meds I also have a party! 

 Hope and disappointment seem to be my two best friends! It takes a LOT of self-talk to keep a positive attitude.  And SO hard. Time sometimes IS the best for all. For healing and for insight into this female body... also good that you have support from your sister. For me it is so important to have trusted people to talk to about this.

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